“You may experience intimacy or you may experience being admired, but it’s very difficult to experience both,” he said. However, some of these potential rewards may be in conflict with each other. Sex can be a time away from day-to-day difficulties and satisfy our sense of adventure and curiosity. It may give us status, whether as half of a couple or as part of a group that sees itself as sexually adventurous. There may be rewards in terms of helping us understand what makes us special as individuals, who we belong with and what qualities other people see in us. As well as the intrinsic reward of sexual (physical) pleasure, sex can also have rewards in terms of bonding, belonging and identity. Jan Großer, a psychiatrist and activist based in Berlin, defined pleasure as a positive feedback mechanism that motivates us to repeat an action. Many gay men, just like some straight men and women, aren’t attracted to the idea of anal and do not engage in it.Most men’s involvement with chemsex begins by seeking pleasure, even if it does not always remain care free. I’m sure that for many straight people the first thing that springs to mind when asked about gay sex is anal, and there is a misconception that every gay man takes part in and enjoys anal sex. When it is stimulated during anal sex, a much more pleasurable orgasm can be achieved.
The prostate gland is an ultra-sensitive part of a man’s body. Many straight men are surprised to learn there is such thing as the male G-spot.
It’s no secret that anal penetration can be painful, especially for beginners, however practice makes perfect and once familiar with anal sex and how to properly engage in it, for example by using lubrication, it can be pleasurable. While this is the case for many, anal sex can still be a fun sexual practice. Many people in both the heterosexual and homosexual communities are resigned to the supposed fact that anal sex is painful. We still managed to enjoy a satisfying sexual experience, but we both acknowledged we had restrictions due to our position identity.
I myself have experienced awkward sexual encounters in which my partner of choice had the same position preference as me. These variety of positions can sometimes mean that not everyone is a match in the bedroom. The next most frequently used position preference is known as versatile: a gay man who is happy to act as either. The primary anal sex preparation method for many gay men is douching.įor those who aren’t familiar with the concept, douching is when a person intentionally cleans out their rectum using water and their douching equipment of choice, such as enemas and douche bulbs.ĭwelling on the potential messy risks of anal sex and the activity of cleaning beforehand is a less than romantic thought, but putting in the effort to make sure anal sex goes off without a hitch is worth it in the end. This is of course down to the sometimes necessary preparations gay men take before engaging in anal sex.įor obvious reasons, anal can be a messy experience if the proper preparation isn’t carried out beforehand, and that prep can be both time-consuming and uncomfortable. One of the best aspects of a sexual experience can be its spontaneity.Īn out-of-the-blue moment of passion sounds much more appealing than previously planned sexual activity.įor some gay men, however, sex can be quite regimented.